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Today is World Turtle day so I feel I owe it to the #littlebollix to write some sort of post about him.

Garman was my one worry about emigrating to America, who on earth would want #littlebollix? All I did was tell people about my angry turtle; he provided great writing material however.

I wrote about him fighting with his brother Loch like a fecking Ninja. I wrote about him basking like a German on a sunbed at 6am in the morning, his voodoo flipper waving shit, his shell banging off the tank annoying the dog, his Rocky workouts, his hissing and spitting...

He was a shithead, a dirty, rotten #littlebollix. Tank maintenance was never ending but he had the best of everything. His tank was huge and he had a summer pond too. I spent a fortune on him but I can't say he appreciated it as every time he swam by he glared at me or flipped the finger, he fucking did!

Finding a home for him was a worry. I called so many pet shops and asked everyone I knew to take him in. "Maybe change your sales pitch" I was advised! Eventually I found a pet shop in Carlow that were only too happy to take him in, along with the tank. Carlow bound for the turtle, Florida for me, quite ironic! We drove down with him in a bucket of water, flapping and scratching and kicking to get out. Angry as hell. The shop was amazing, as were the staff. He joined a menagerie of terrapins, snakes, frogs, chameleons, iguanas, geckos etc.

Finally a happy turtle. He never even looked back - #littlebollix

Happy World Turtle day Garman. Miss you!!!

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